


What a Wonderful World

by Painful_Panda



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Other, Self-Esteem Issues, alternate universe - homestuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-02-27 19:47:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 6,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13255368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Painful_Panda/pseuds/Painful_Panda
Summary: Panda's tasty platter of Eddsworld oneshots.(Request rules are in the first chapter, I advise that you follow them. Otherwise I'll have to shut this down, again.)((PLEASE READ THE RULES.))





	1. Rules

OWO what's this?

 

Is Panda opening their request box again? 

 

Yes.

I am.

 

Rules:

 

\- Shipping is welcome!

 

\- OCs are also welcome, (But you will have to provide a name and description. And please, humans only.)

 

\- I will accept OC x Canon Character (I'm desperate for requests.)

 

\- You can decide who dies or not, but if you don't know who should, I'll do it.

 

\- These are one-shots. But I'll maybe make an extra chapter (this doesn't mean its a part two unless requested. I will only take two parts.)

 

\- Kinks are allowed (some fetishes if I'm up for it.)

 

\- I will remove your comment if you want me to. I will give credit if you want me to. I will not remove the one fic that you requested if you wanted me to (Don't ask, I just won't).

 

\- Note that I am on this website 24/7 just so I can see what's in my inbox. ~~You can comment funny things, I don't mind~~. 

 

\- Other AUs. (Ex: Tomsworld, Mattsworld, Opposite Day) I CAN do this, but it'll be a bit hard. I need to know the AU before I do a crossover.

 

\- I make up different AUs to write about (I usually do this if I don't have any requests.)

 

\- Like I said earlier, I'm on 24/7. But just because I don't respond to your request, it doesn't mean I didn't read it.

 

_\- There will be certain requests that I will write into crack. I do this because it helps me relieve the stress of your expectations. That doesn't make sense, but pretend it does._

 

_\- If you requested before, it's okay to request again! I'll accept it!_

 

_- I will NOT write A/B/O. I don't need to explain why just know that I won't do it._

 

_\- Please do not comment things that is not directed to the oneshot. Unless it's a request._

 

\- More rules might come up (maybe) if needed.  ~~~~ _(If the rule was not originally there, therefore new, it will be in Italics)_

 

I hope you have accepted the terms of use and the price of disobedience is your termination. 

 

**_Kidding, just follow the rules. They're not that hard._ **


	2. (Tom/Tord) "You NAMED your bass?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Request was too long to be entered here-
> 
>  
> 
> Panda says: "Short one shot, kms."

“You seem in a bit of a pickle, my friend.”

 

“We’re not friends, Commie.”

 

Tord chuckles, watching the Tom stuff his damaged instrument into his backpack. He grunts roughly as he watches Tord walk with him.

 

“Of course we are, I talk, you talk, we spend time with each other in between classes. We hang out a bit after school, how is that not friendship?”

 

“That’s called putting up with your bullshit.”

 

“Isn’t that what friends do?”

 

Tom silently walked his route to home. Well, the silence didn’t stick for too long.

 

“Can you stop touching Susan?”

 

“You  _named_  your bass?”

 

“Oh, fuck off.”

 

“I’m just poking fun at you. What happened to it?”

 

Tom pauses, “What do you think?”

 

“Someone broke i-”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Ah,” Tord says. Then an idea popped to mind, “Why don’t I help you fix it?”

 

…

 

“No offense, but you don’t seem like someone who can fix things.”

 

“… ‘Scuse me? I’m sorry, I’m trying to be nice and doing you a free favor. As a friend.”

 

Groaning, “Fine, you free tomorrow?”

 

“Yes, actually! I’ll be over at six, how does that sound?”

 

“Sounds great.”


	3. (Eduardo/Jon) "I can’t leave him."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: Could you write an one shot about the death of Jon and how it's affecting Mark and Eduardo please?
> 
> Panda says: It took me all in my power not to give this a sadder ending aaaaa enjoy plz ;-;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also kms I can't write sad shit

**Beep.**

 

**Beep.**

 

God, that sound is so annoying.

 

But if it were to stop, your world stops with it.

 

**Beep.**

 

**Beep.**

 

**Beep.**

 

“Ed.”

 

You turn your head.

 

“Mark.”

 

“It’s been three days,” The blonde sighed, “I haven’t seen you leave  _ once _ to eat.”

 

**Beep.**

 

**Beep.**

 

“Oh, ‘m sorry-”

 

“I’m worried about you. I understand you want to be there when he wakes up, but you also need to take care of yourself. Come on. We can come back in the morning-”

 

Like a some horrible movie, the memory of that robot. That big, red robot. 

 

A missile. Shiny. It came after you, the house…

 

“No!”

 

Pause.

 

**Beep.**

 

**Beep.**

 

“Eduardo, please-”

 

“I’m not- I can’t- I can’t leave him-”

 

“He wouldn’t like you in this state.”

 

How much you regret not being fast enough. Why did it have to happen? To you? To them? Why were you such an asshole to him? Why, why, why...

 

Weren’t you the one in the hospital bed?

 

**Beep.**

 

**Beep.**

 

**Beep.**


	4. (Tom/Tord) "I'm taller!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: I was wondering if you could write a fic of tom and tord arguing over who's taller, then edd steps in and reveals tord is taller by a millimeter.
> 
> Panda says: hahaha I'm depressed

“Shut up.”

 

“Hah, no way! Just admit it, Jehova, I’m taller than you.”

 

Tom tapped his finger impatiently on the kitchen counter. For fucks sake, Tord always enjoys finding a way to make Tom’s life harder.

 

“It’s the hair.”

 

“It’s not! I don’t count the horns this time, punk!”

 

“Eh fucking ‘scuse me?”

 

“Alright you two,” Edd steps into the kitchen, “I’ve got the long ruler of longness, and a  _ can of cola _ that needs my attention.”

 

~~_ Fuck your cola I bet you fuck it fuckfuckfukmelarry _ ~~

 

Edd places the tip of the ruler on the ground. Tom and Tord stand upright, which is hard on Tom. Since the poor guy is so used to slouching.

 

“Aaaaaand tord is taller by a… millimeter.”

 

“WHAT?” Tom yelled, springing a little bit.

 

“I’m taller!” Tord gloated, “I’m tall and I’m right-!”

 

Tom absconds to his room, annoyed by the loud laughter of the other.

 

_ “Tord please stop sitting on my ~~pussy~~ cat.” _


	5. (Tord/Matt) Bookworm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Request: can i have some tordmatt where tord is a super-villain and matt works at a book store that has like really really ancient books and tord just visits everyday to grab some of those books for his scheme and also to see matt??
> 
> Panda says: im suicidal

He keeps coming back.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a very forgetful person. I forget the time, I forget people’s names, and I forget phone numbers. But there is something I _won’t_ forget. It’s how _he_ first introduced himself. He just came in one day and started buying out an entire genre of books. I thought he was crazy. Could he do that? Would my boss allow it? This stranger, he didn’t look rich or like a man who had a lot of money.

 

Long story short, never assume things. Especially if they’re someone you don’t know.

 

He had a thick accent, sounded a bit Russian, but I soon found out he came from Norway.

 

We have a big variety of old to the newest (and in trend) books. Want to know a great cooking recipe? We have it. Like to learn Greek gods for a school assignment? Yes, we’ve got tons of those. Manga? Of course. We had millions of cookbooks, comics, autobiographies, novels, Bibles, and out of all of those he could choose to read…

 

He chooses to read superhero comics.

 

His most favorites were entire books dedicated to the villain's side of the story.

 

There’s always this cute smile on his face, a small gap in the front of his teeth. His eyes were a shiny, almost icy blueish grey. A strange color. He has freckles like mine, only his were a bit… Faint. His hair was a caramel color, pointed upwards like two horns. He always wears a black coat.

 

“Isn’t the weather lovely, today?” He says, placing one book by me.

 

“I guess. I’m not really fond of the rain.”

 

“I see. Why is that?”

 

I scan the item, “Can’t do much.”

 

“Well, if you step out every once in a while, it’s actually quite enjoyable,” He puts down his card, I take it and swipe it, he watches me work.

 

“Oh. Thanks,” I answered flatly, ripping the receipt and stuffing it along with a plastic bag.

 

“So, uh,” He seemed a bit nervous, “I’ve seen you a lot.”

 

“No surprise, you’re here almost every day,” I give him his card back.

 

He looks behind himself to see if there was somebody in line to buy a book. Then looks back at me, taking the card and sliding it into his pockets.

 

“Yeah, I guess I’m guilty of that. But through all this time, I never really got your name.”

 

I smile, “I’m Matt.”

 

“Tord.”

 

“Well Tord, I’ll try to enjoy the rain when I have the time. I hope you enjoy the book.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

With that, he leaves.


	6. (Edd/Matt/Tom/Tord) Roleplay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> !!NOT A REQUEST!!
> 
> Like I said, if I don't get requests, I make a request for myself.
> 
> Also idk what I was writing so fuck this

**toxicClarity [TC] began trolling colaGrump [CG]**

**TC: So LiKe...**

**TC: WhO tHe MoThErFuCk iS fOrD?**

**CG: IT'S TORD, YOU UNCULTURED SWINE.**

**CG: I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU FORGOT HIM ALREADY**

**CG: WHAT ELSE COULD YOUR THINKPAN FORGET**

**CG: OUR MEOWBEAST?**

**TC: We HaVe A cAt?**

**CG: OH MY FUCKING GOD, YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER.**

**TC: Oh, ThAnKs.**

**CG: NO, THAT WASN'T MEANT TO BE A COMPLIMENT**

**CG: YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK THIS YOU CAN JUST GO FUCK YOURSELF.**

 

* * *

 

**tipsyAnarchist [TA] began trolling civilizedAsexual [CA]**

**TA: what the fuck are you doiing iin our hou2e?**

**CA: surprise bitch**

**TA: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIING HERE?**

**CA: i wwas thinkin ovver some swweeps**

**CA: i kinda spent my life livvin around sharin my ideas and shit**

**CA: and people lovve stealin ideas that arent theirs**

**CA: so like**

**CA: i wwas stuck on the streets for awwhile but edd found me so im here**

**TA: oh well**

**TA: ii 2tiill want you two pack your 2hiit and leave you fuckiing commiie.**

**colaGrump [CG] began trolling **tipsyAnarchist [TA] and civilizedAsexual [CA]****

****CG: TOM, STOP BEING SO RUDE!** **

****TA: oh 2hiit.** **

****CA: hewwo edd** **

****CG: HELLO TORD** **

****CA: howw is the wweather again** **

****TA: cloudy wiith a chance of you LEAVIING.** **

****CG: TOM** **

****TA: what** **

****CG: STOP BEING SO RUDE** **

**CG: HE'S STAYING HERE UNTIL HE CAN GET HIS LIFE BACK TOGETHER SO YOU TWO BETTER GET ALONG OR I'LL SHOVE YOUR DICKS IN A TOASTER.**

**CA: consider it done**

**TA: no, don't con2iider iit done.**

**CA: can i havve my old room back**

**TA: no!**

**CG: YES.**

**TA: where am ii gonna go?**

**CG: YOU CAN GO BACK TO YOUR OLD ROOM.**

**TA: may ii giive you a remiinder that you turned iit iinto a fuckiing swiimmiing pool.**

**CG: WELL, YOU TWO CAN SHARE!**

**CA: oh no**

**TA: hell no**

**CG: YOU BOTH CAN LIVE THROUGH THIS, STOP BEING SUCH WRIGGLERS.**

**CA: oh wwell im up for it**

**CG: SINCE YOU'RE HERE TORD, MATT AND I HAVE DECIDED TO GO SOMEWHERE TO CELEBRATE YOUR ARRIVAL**

**CG: ITS THE MOVIES I THINK.**

**CG: CAN I GET A YAY?**

**CA: yay**

**TA: fuck THII2**

**TA: *throw2 couch out the fuckiing hou2e***

**CA: sol its the sofa**

**CA: tom throwws the sofa**

**TA: ii'm pretty 2ure edd, matt and tord don't go two the fuckiing moviie2 and yet you're lettiing that 2liide.**

**CA: true**

**CG: OH FUCK DID I MESS UP AND YOU TWO DIDN'T FUCKING TELL ME?**

**CA: oops**

**CG: FUCK LET'S START OVER**

**TA: kk ii 2eiiou2ly don't want to go over thii2 agaiin 2o can we ju2t contiinue?**

**CG: FINE, BUT I'LL BE MISERABLE.**

**toxicClairty [TC] began trolling colaGrump [CG] **tipsyAnarchist [TA] and civilizedAsexual [CA]****

****TC: HeY mOtHeRfUcKeRs, wHaT dId I mIsS?** **

**CG: YOU'RE LATE.**

**CG: WE HAVE TO START OVER**

**TA: :o)**

**CG: YOU**

**CG: okay I can't do this y'all this roleplay sucks**

**CA: it doesnt suck youre just boring**

**TA: I knew this was a waste of time**

**CA: it is not**

**CA: we can larp in our homestuck cosplays**

**CG: you can go go that**

**CG: I'm gonna go do something, NORMAL**

**TC: But do I have to be the creepy clown guy?**

**CA: if the cosplay fits you can be karkat**

**TC: Nice.**


	7. Tomorrow Is...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> !!NOT A REQUEST!!
> 
> I really like not having requests.
> 
> It gives me less of a reason to do anything.
> 
> But then I just thought about SpongeBob, so enjoy.

Tom looks at susan.

 

_I only have tomorrow._

 

_To show them what I've got._

 

He looks over his clipboard, the words; ‘The Neon Chasers’ was printed on the paper. The band was having a feud in the other room, one of the band members that played the bass was coming down with something. The rest were yelling at the sick member to play. Maybe they could let the manager play with them? No, that’s stupid. He doesn't remember all the cords of the songs they’ll be playing, despite being a fan. One member completely snapped at them all.

 

“THAT’S IT! Y'ALL CAN’T FORCE HIM TO DO THIS, WE’RE ALL DEAD ANYWAYS!”

 

“You can’t just assume that,” Another member stepped up, “This is possibly our last hope--”

 

“And if it backfires? I’m NOT playing, anymore!”

 

Arguments. They storm out the room.

 

“Wait,” Tom yelled, “You can’t just disband right now! We’ve got a crowd out there, waiting for your music! Come on, can’t you all just-”

 

“Hell. No. Aaron, lets go.”

 

The sick member left with his best friend. The rest started leaving as well.

 

“G-Guys! Please, you can’t!”

 

The host was ready to go out onto the stage. Tom ran up to him.

 

“Pat! Pat, wait! The band just broke up, you can’t announce them!”

 

Patryck looked.

 

“Well, come up with something. That volcano will blow tomorrow.”

 

Tom was speaking in gibberish as he panicked.

 

“I… I can play the bass…!”

 

“Hm. Maybe you can try that. Go on, the crowd is waiting!”

 

Tom grabs susan. His hands shake as he walked into the spotlight.

 

* * *

 

_Such sweet revenge._

 

This plan was totally gonna work. Eduardo put in a ton of work into it, there’s no way in _hell_ that it’ll fail planwise. It’s beneficial to himself and everyone else in this stupid town. Everyone's too stupid to question your intentions.

 

Although, the thought of the plan failing somehow. That scared him a little bit. What is the escape pods malfunction? What if the brainwashing failed to do its purpose?

 

“Eddie?”

 

Eduardo jumped, “Ah. It’s just you, my lovely computer husband… What the  _FUCK_ do you want?”

 

“Oh- Well- I was just worried about you. I mean, you just seemed a bit stressed.”

 

“Just thinking about the plan, that’s all.”

 

Jon simply smiled, the android man crawled onto the nearby stool.  

 

“Eddie, I double checked everything. The plan will work, promise!”

 

“Mmm, I don’t know.”

 

“I promise!” His pinky finger was raised as if he did a 'pinky promise'.

 

Eduardo huffed, “Fine, fine! If you say so.”

 

“Yeah! Yeah, we just need to wait!”

 

Eduardo stepped to a window. The window that showed his competing restaurant.

 

Just the thought of everyone. Everyone finally acknowledging the food that he makes. People would actually appreciate what he makes.

 

That would be a dream come true.

 

_Tomorrow means VICTORY._

 

* * *

 

_We only have tomorrow._

 

_I wish it was with you._

 

Tord looked at the sad Edd on the table, too busy being upset to mind the spilled can of cola on the ground. Which is weird. That would be horrible for him, right?

 

“Come on Edd! It’s alright, we can still do this together!”

 

“I can’t believe Matt just created a cult.”

 

Tord sat on the table, “Hey, weird stuff happens all the time! It’s probably because of the volcano, so maybe we should still go ahead and stop it, without him. You know?”

 

“For christ's sake Tord, can’t you let me grieve for one second without interrupting me with _this_ problem?!”

 

Pause.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m just scared…”

 

Scared?

 

Tord?

 

Edd looked up.

 

“Now, don’t say anything to Tom and Matt! I’m not concerned with myself. I just don’t want my f-”

 

Tord tenses up, “I don’t want my friends to die, that’s it!” He crosses his arms, cheeks slightly pink.

 

That’s cute.

 

“Well, fine, you’ve got me motivated!”

 

“Wait, really?!”

 

“Yeah!”

 

Look at the time.

 

“Oh god, we’re gonna be late to the benefit concert!”

 

“Ugh, do we really have to go? Even with the volcano?”

 

“Yes! Pau want me to duet with him on the song he wrote!”

 

“Oh. Then, I’ll go grab my gun.”


	8. (Tom/Tord) Zombiekind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even gonna bother putting this entire request in.
> 
> I want to die.
> 
> But I'm afraid of dying.
> 
> :)

He was going to die.

 

He felt it deep in his bones.

 

He shouldn't have left alone. This idea was so stupid. In an apocalypse no less. Tom was stuck on the roof of a beaten up old truck, ankle twisted, and only a rusty pipe as his last item of defense. He was screwed. 

 

Crowds of the undead gathered around, clawing at the truck, all desperate for a meal like hungry animals.

 

He was scared. He wanted to scream, yell, cry, anything. That'll just attract more of those monsters. 

 

His fear was delayed for only a couple of seconds. A face in the crowd, one silver colored eye and the other eye was completely gone. This person didn't do what every zombie was doing, which seriously caught Tom off guard. But this zombie couldn't be much different from the rest, maybe it's just a little too brain dead.

 

It goes the other direction. Away from Tom. 

 

His train of thought was broken when a dead hand broke the window of the truck. 

 

Zombies crawl closer, Tom swings his pipe down onto a few that came too close. It was minimal at first, but some were getting quicker.

 

He lets out a cry before giving up and bracing himself for the worse, shutting his eyelids tightly.

 

But that never came, thank god.

 

Sirens go off somewhere. The undead stops and goes after the source of the noise. He nervously opened his blank eyes and watched.

 

When the coast was clear, he carefully got off the truck. He walks away with a slight limp, struggling a bit with his sad attempt to run.

 

Then it came back.

 

"Hello!"

 

Tom jumps in surprise, whacking the friendly undead male with his pipe.

 

He takes another look at the zombie. Red hoodie, torn and covered with darker patches of red in some places. His skin was a sickly emerald green, with messy hair that was roughly shaped like horns.

 

The zombie gets up, groaning in pain.

 

Tom takes a step back.

 

"What are you," He mumbled under his breath.

 

The undead man gets up, holding his arms out with a big smile, "I'm Tord!" Tom stares at the shorter male, before whacking his leg.

 

"Fuck!" Tord screams.

 

Tom sighs in relief, "Oh thank god, I'm not crazy," He helps the zombie up.

 

"That hurt!"

 

"Sorry."

 

"You better be!" Tord growls, rubbing his harmed leg, "Ugh! What's a person like you doing out here, anyway?"

 

Just as Tom was about to open his mouth to answer, Tord suddenly grabbed Tom's arm and pulled him away.

 

"What-"

 

"Shh."

 

Tord slows down.

 

"Umm... I'm Tom, by the way-"

 

"Howdy. What are you doing here?"

 

"I got lost."

 

"Do you have a group you stick with?"

 

"Just two friends. I should be getting close, I think."

 

Tord lets go of Tom, "Take me with you."

 

"What, why?"

 

"I can help you find them."

 

"You?"

 

"Give me some credit, I just saved your life back there."

 

Pause.

 

"Oh."

 

"I'll take that as an invitation, let's go find your friends."


	9. (Tom/Tord) Movie Night, Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JUST WANTED TO WRITE SOMETHING WITHOUT MURDER OR GENOCIDE--
> 
> I FUCKING SUCK AT WRITING FLUFF IMSORRY

You wait patiently.

 

Watching the clock, hearing the tick-tock.

 

You've been waiting for so long and forced to wait again.

 

"Hey."

 

"H-Hey! Took you long enough!"

 

"Yeah, sorry. Didn't want to lay down with sweat and oil all over me."

 

"Gross."

 

Tom begins to tie his sweatshirt around his waist, "Yeah, gross."

 

You chuckle, he settles down next to you on the couch.

 

"So, what are we watching?'

 

"Professor Why."

 

"Lame."

 

"Oh shush," You grabbed the remote and pressed a few buttons, finally getting the show on, "The newest episode will be the best, I just know it."

 

Few minutes into the episode you lay your head on his chest.

 

"What's the matter? I'm not going anywhere."

 

"Just, let me hug you."

 

Your arms wrap around him, he lets out a mocking deep breath.

 

"I missed you."

 

"It was a week."

 

"Felt like years."

 

Bored, he began running his fingers through your hair. You purr softly.

 

"Tord, are you sure you're not a cat?"

 

"Uhf! Shut it!"

 

"I bet you can meow like one-"

 

"Tommmmmm!"

 

"Heheh, okay, okay."

 

He continues to play with your hair, rubbing the sensitive spots. You didn't realize you've fallen asleep after a while.

 

And that's alright. Sleeping with his warmth on you is all you could ask for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT CHAPTERS WILL BE LESS BORING I SWEAR AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
> 
> I JUST WANTED SOME FLUFFY TOMTORD AND NO ONE IS WILLING TO GIFT ME SO I GIFT MYSELF


	10. (Edd/...) A Reason, A Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MAJOR SPOILERS FOR DEATHDAY!!
> 
> sorry I was bored, I spent so much time on this character than I did with the whole main crew...
> 
> reeeeeet this is a free write plz don't kill me
> 
> also I'm accepting requests again, I just set in some new rules

_There's never a need to try_ , I whisper.

 

A mindset in six words. Why try? There's never a need. Why would I like to spend so much of myself on anything that has, that will never have, any worth?

 

That's what they are. Worthless. They may think the opposite for themselves, for others.

 

But they were still worthless. Worthless, yet real. Garbage.

 

_They._

 

_She._

 

_He._

 

Were miracles that came in two.

 

I loved the number two for a while.

 

Friends don't describe what they truly were. 'Best' isn't it. 'Family' is wrong.

 

They were angels. My angels. Too good for me. Too good for anyone. Too good for this world of the Wheel.

 

Angels didn't deserve to be stuck here, they were so close and ready to climb to the stars.

 

So I helped them.

 

I felt alone without my angels.

 

_They._

 

_She._

 

_He._

 

Was a beauty in blue.

 

Her presence felt cold. Every moment I saw her, every time she walked into a room, her smile, her laugh. What once felt like a warm, beautiful autumn day, fell into icy, colorless nothingness.

 

I was a fool to think I found what I was looking for. I thought she was the key. A big, dazzling key that could fill the empty feeling in my chest.

 

She was a somebody, a reason to try, a...

 

Pale pile of snow. Just light blue, cold snow melting in a hot crimson puddle.

 

She was nothing.

 

_Them._

_She._

_He._

 

Was my reason. The only broken thing in this entire world, that didn't want to be fixed. No, he just wanted to live.

 

So beneath me, he was. Spending time with others that didn't deserve him. He was an angelsend, and yet he's treated like he was a nothing, because of his mutation.

 

Hmm.

 

He gave me a ribbon. I put effort into something that wasn't even worth my time. I painted. I painted... A duck. Her name was Daisy. I called the piece "Daisy". I felt.

 

Proud.

 

But then it was his turn to show off his art. A simple drawing of his superhero persona on a scrap piece of paper. He won the blue ribbon. His eyes sparkled when he got that award.

 

_You're second place!_

 

**_You're second place!_ **

 

**_YOU'RE SECOND PLACE._ **

 

After school.

 

I've never felt such a need to kill someone. Not like the other times. I wanted... I just wanted him gone. I considered stabbing him. He could possibly live through it. His deathday wasn't due just yet. Strangling is difficult and less fun. No. He needed to bleed out, wanting to die, beg for it.  _Please, please Eddie, just get it over with._

 

_He peeked over the corner I usually sat in._

 

_"Hey. I... I'm sorry."_

 

_"Y- What...?"_

 

_"You did deserve first place," He went through his suit pocket, "My drawing sucked," He held out the blue ribbon. Blue as one of them. Blue as she was._

 

_I took it without a second thought, "Wow... I... Uhh..."_

 

_"No need to thank me, you deserve it! I really liked your Daisy Duck!"_

 

_I swear, my heart must've leaped. He was talking to me. He gave me a ribbon. He liked my art._

 

_"Thank you. I... Like superheroes!" I lied, "Your drawing was great!"_

 

_"Eh, I completely forgot about the whole ordeal. See ya, my dad is probably wondering why I'm coming home so late."_

 

And he left. The time we've spent together may have been short. But I always get warm sensations when I replay it back in my head. I wanted him. 

 

I can't have him. So I made a vow to protect him. I'm high-classed, I can make his existence as peaceful as I can make it be. I finally felt like I had a reason.

 

 

Then we got older.

 

And he became more popular.

 

More reckless.

 

Gain more friends.

 

**BANG!**

 

I should've tried.

 

It's my fault.

 

I broke my vow.

 

I lost my reason.

 

Oh no. Oh no, no, no...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm sorry, Edward.

 

 

 

 


	11. (Edd/Tord) Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. More chapters.
> 
> Chapter requested by: SoulofKindness.

It was pouring. I don't usually go out when it's raining. But, I wanted to test out my umbrella.

 

But then I saw him, curled up and shaking. I thought it was some random sinister guy so I walked passed him. Then I heard,

 

"Edward?"

 

At first, I was surprised. I didn't really think back to 'The End' at the moment, I was just relieved. 

 

I walked over.

 

He shifts his gaze away and tried to scoot away. But I was already in front of him.

 

"You're soaked, dude."

 

"Yes, I can tell."

 

I kneel down and keep the umbrella between us, "What are you doing here? Don't you have somewhere to go?"

 

Tord looked visibly upset. It took me awhile to realize that he refuses to turn his head. 

 

"Tord, look at me," I raised my hand to touch his wet face, he tries to swat me away, but still, I'm greeted with some strange texture, "What... Tord?"

 

He gave up and finally turned his head to look at me dead in the eyes. Deep scars were dug into reddened flesh, his right eye seemed like it still worked even with the slight discoloration in it. 

 

"Oh..."

 

"Leave me alone, Edward. I don't want to hurt you again."

 

"Hurt...? Oh, forget me! Look at you! Your face is all wreaked! It's raining and dark out here! Plus, you're alone!"

 

He looks down. He looks so guilty, I feel kinda bad for him.

 

"Let's get you somewhere dry and warm," I hold my hand out, "I know a great place!"

 

"No, I don't think that's a good idea."

 

"You'll die out here."

 

"I heard death is quite pleasant when you want it."

 

"I'll make you bacon."

 

"..."

 

* * *

 

 

"What the  _hell_ Edd?!" Tom snarled.

 

"What?"

 

"You don't just bring a random stranger into the apartments, we're not a damn homeless shelter."

 

"Can it. I don't need any more sass from you. And besides, he's not going to make any trouble..."

 

"The guy has a bad face."

 

"And?"

 

"And?! Edd, what are you-"

 

Matt walks in to see what was all the yelling was about.

 

Before Tom could finish talking, Matt was already getting a good grip on his hand mirror and snapping the plastic handle. The rest of it tumbled all over the ground.

 

"You!"

 

"Oh, hey Matt!" I'm officially worried.

 

"Why did you bring him here?!"

 

"Oh, him? Just a super moist Jehovah's Witness I found outside, no biggie!"

 

"Edd, I don't think he's falling for that," Tord mumbles.

 

"What the hell?! TORD?!"

 

"He ruins my face and you let him back here?!"

 

Tom and Matt snap at me like wild dogs. I try to calm them down. They yell louder. 

 

"... I pay for this place with my damn money, I have rules...!"

 

"... He destroyed our house...!"

 

"SHUT UP!"

 

Matt went quiet.

 

"Wha- Edd, you're not serious...?! You still forgive this commie?"

 

"Look at him. His face is messed up. And look at his hand! His entire arm! He's injured and as a friend, I want to help him."

 

"You're 'friend' blew up our house with his fucking robot!"

 

"And now he has nothing."

 

Tord had been awfully quiet, looking down for the entirety of him being here.

 

"You know what? Fine. You can keep him here! But I don't want him scheming."

 

Tord sighed, I lead him to his new room.

 

* * *

 

 

Matt started helping me with caring for Tord's wounds.

 

Often than not I can hear them having small chats, Matt happily talking about having a new novelty toy collection (since everything else was burned), and Tord just trying to apologize.

 

Tom kept an eye on Tord for the first four weeks. They both got drunk one time and started hugging it out. It was adorable.

 

And me.

 

He would attach himself to me. I'd go shopping, for one thing, he'd want to go. We take a lot of walks together.

 

"Hey, Edd?"

 

"Mmm?"

 

"Do you think I'm 'good' now? Like, am I, forgiven?"

 

I smile, "Yeah. At least, I think so. Mmm... Well, you are in my book."

 

"That's great... Then I'm happy."

 

"Well, you should be! We've got big plans for tomorrow, and we wouldn't plan it if we didn't forgive you!"

 

And for the first time, in a long time, since I've brought him here, he smiled.

 

* * *

 

 

I woke up to Tom shaking and yelling me awake.

 

"Edd! Oh god, oh god, oh fuck-"

 

"What the hell, Tom?! How'd you get in my apartment?" I groaned, still sleepy.

 

"Something's wrong with Tord." 

 

My eyes shot open, something's wrong with-?! I quickly got on my feet and stormed over to Tord's apartment.

 

Matt was sitting on the bed, holding onto Tord's good hand.

 

Tord was wheezing, breathing in short huffs of breath, and coughing.

 

"Todd...? What's wr- Edd!"

 

"Tord?! What--" I see a capsule on the ground, empty. I snatched it.

 

_Painkillers._

 

"Tord, what have you done?!"

 

He only turned his head in response. I grab him by the chin and looked at him straight in his one golden eye.

 

"Why?"

 

"It hurt," He wheezed, "Two wasn't enough..."

 

"So you downed the whole bottle?! Tom, call someone!"

 

Tom grabs Matt's phone and started dialing.

 

"Tord, Tord, it'll be alright, we're gonna get you some help-"

 

"Edd."

 

"What?"

 

"Thank you for always being there for me."

 

My heart dropped, "Wha-"

 

"You. You helped me a lot. I didn't want to die. In an alley all alone, knowing I've done so much unforgivable things."

 

His eye was shined over, small tears ready to pour themselves down his cheeks.

 

"Tord... Please... Don't go, we still have so much to catch up on..."

 

I didn't realize I was crying too, he lifted his hand to wipe away my tears.

 

"We can do that later. I promise."

 

I hear sirens in the distance.

 

But Tord's eyes had already fluttered shut.


	12. (Matt/Edd) Knifey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since I'm seeing a lot of Matt angst, I've decided to write stupid stuff as usual.
> 
> Because why not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In where Edd and Tom actually get along with Tord.
> 
> Just not Matt.

"You never cared about me, didn't you?"

 

Matt was busy cleaning the dishes when he asked you. It's a simple question, yes or no. But it just didn't sound right, coming from him out of all his roommates.

 

"What?" You whispered.

 

"You and Tom. You two always had a thing against me. Why is that?"

 

"No- Matt, we don't have anything against you! You're just intolerable, sometimes-"

 

"And you aren't?" Matt snarled, "I come home and it's you. Always you. Telling me things that aren't true," He turns off the faucet and dries his hands.

 

"Matt--"

 

"But it's not just you, I guess! Look at the others! You all got along just fine! It took me a solid two years for you all to let me join your little kiddie club. But... Todd- no, that isn't his name, right? The red boy can join just so quickly."

 

"Matt, shut up and let me talk!"

 

"You shut up," He quickly went for the knife, the point inches from your nose, "I don't have to shut up anymore!"

 

You're panicking. So many alarms go off in your head and you wonder what the hell you should do.

 

He's not like this.

 

You never had to deal with him.

 

"It's because I'm stupid, isn't it? You think that you can just replace me, and I wouldn't notice?!"

 

And within a second, all anger is gone from his face.

 

"Hah. Right, right. I am nothing to you, aren't I?"

 

"Matt, please," You finally said, "Put the knife down and let's talk this out."

 

...

 

He got closer, knife still high in the air. His hand shoves you off to the side as he walks by and away with it, still in hand.

 

He goes into his room with a final slam and lock of his door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eeee sorry its bad I just wanted to write something


	13. Recovering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Matt with issues and a knife. And a bottle of vodka.
> 
> Except without Edd and it just Tord because TordMatt is my favorite pairing, I guess.
> 
> This shouldn't even count as a ship but ehhh...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and last part is in second person. I wanted to have this Tord to have limited English, so he speaks a tad weirdly.
> 
> The next bit is in first person. Tord still speaks limited English, but I wrote it in 'slightly better' English. Why? I don't want to confuse myself.

"Take a seat, Mister Larkson."

 

Your eyes shift to the seat. It's unpleasant enough as it is, stressful even, to be in this room. There's a wide window that looks like mirror. Reflecting the injuries you've received and the eye you lost.

 

You sit in the plastic kiddie-like chair.

 

"How are you? Is recovery going well?" The man asked.

 

"If you really cared about my health, sir, I would still be asleep at my home."

 

"Ha ha. I know you're upset, but you know well that this has to be done. We would've done it earlier, but you hid yourself. That's on you," The man tossed a folder onto the table," Now, all we want is for you to answer a few questions."

 

"For guds skyld...  He did not fucking kill me, he did not kill anyone. **He** is dead. All this is complete waste of my time and yours."

 

"We need to hear your side of the story."

 

"I will tell when I feel like it! Or maybe when police can stop tracking me down. Yes, why in hell is law so nosy? Do none of you know what privacy is? Is it a new concept that has reached your monkey brains?"

 

"Mister Larkson, if you continue to behave this way, I can arrange for you to be deported back to Norway."

 

This sends shock pulsating through, "You cannot do that, my seventeen days are not up."

 

"We can always cut it short."

 

You let out a snarl. Always these stupid types of things that makes you crack. It's annoying.

 

His lanky aging fingers worked on opening the folder while he spoke, "Let us start with some easy questions. How was he like?"

 

"He was nice boy. Always like to make himself pretty," There's photos of Matt, you take one, "He never hurt fly unless fly hurt him, you know?"

 

"Mmm. Did you hurt him at the night of the attack?"

 

"No. He was drunk. So he must not thinking right."

 

"Why do you think he was drinking?"

 

"He say he want to forget."

 

"Forget what?"

 

"I am not sure. I was more caring about the knife in his hand."

 

He picks put a slip of paper and brings it to your attention. Phone records.

 

"There were multiple calls from you and Gold, before all of this happened. Can you tell me what they were about?"

 

"He always had kitchen knife on him. Edd and I worry he was going to hurt us. We called for help so many times that they block us."

 

"Was Ridgewell worried?"

 

"No. He say Matt was looking for attention."

 

"Did any of you confront him about this?"

 

"Not me, Edward. Thomas hates me."

 

"Hmm. Take me to the night of the attack. What was happening, what were you doing?"

 

* * *

 

I was watching Professor Why reruns because I have simply missed too many episodes. I was so busy enjoying the show, that I waited for commercials to pop up before I could get another bowl of Chex mix.

 

You don't mind if I use noises to make my point, no?

 

It took long, but the time was finally up, I was running down the halls for more snacks. I make my way to the living room, I heard glass breaking.  _Crack. Crack!_ I turn my head to the direction of the sound.

 

It wasn't from Tom's room like I hoped it was. It was from Matt's. And of course, I didn't want to go see if he was fine. He has a knife in his room, I didn't have anything on me at the time!

 

But he was crying.

 

Oh, he was crying.

 

Some loud sobs. Similar to Tom's when he gets drunk and sad. I was confused. And a bit worried.

 

But I didn't stop to get anything to protect me. I turned the knob and went in.

 

My eyes instantly landed on him.

 

Here was Matthew. Laying on the ground with a bottle of vodka in one hand and a knife in another. 

 

"Matt, what in hell are you doing?" I asked.

 

"Nothing."

 

He had only drunk a bit from the bottle, he tossed it aside, it starts pouring vodka everywhere. But he doesn't do anything about it.

 

"Matthew. This has gone on for too long. Why do you refuse help?"

 

"Because I don't want help from a goddamn therapist. I want honesty from the three guys I live with."

 

He settles himself on his bed.

 

"You can trust me, Matthew."

 

"Why?"

 

"I came in to see if you were okay."

 

"..."

 

* * *

 

 

"I try to talk to him, but he jus... Seem... Faen, it is really cold in here or is it me?"

 

"Mister Larkson, please stay with us."

 

"Yea, yea, I understan..." You feel extremely tired, a silent ring in your ears, "I think I need a break."

 

"Mister Larkson."

 

"I need a break!" You screamed as loud as you could, the voice came out weaker than you anticipated.

 

"Very well then, five mi-"

 

You give into the coldness, your head slams onto the table as you felt warm liquid pouring out of your bad eye.

 

You sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally going to write the entire story but I realized my stories are stupid as fuck, so I killed off Tord.


	14. (Bing/Larry) There you are!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alt title: There's plenty of fish in the sea but I had to choose the robotic fish out of all of them
> 
> \--
> 
> OMG PANDA WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU MAKING MORE AUS???!! WHY CAN'T YOU GO BY ANYTHING CANON IN THE SHOW??
> 
> honestly I tell myself to stop but I'm also like, "eh, it's not hurting anyone but me, I should be fine"
> 
> I like AUs. They're pretty cool 'n such. I've got a lot of ideas so I write about them sometimes. sorry if you want something tame or some shit, because i'll probably never do that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll just copy and paste the tumblr post I made here:
> 
> (EW x DBH AU)
> 
> Larry in an android. The one and only android of his kind that anyone knows of. He was programmed to adapt and work with adults that are in a chronic condition or have mental disorders. 
> 
> Larry is still a prototype. Bing is his owner. [[They're much more awkward and emotionally oblivious then in canon. oops.]]
> 
> Larry has fuckinjfjy,,,, golden hair, tan skin with freckles all over his face and body, (had) two silver eyes,,, but Bing stabbed one of his eyes out with a fidget pen. His model is RN600 (RN-600), [RN600 isn't a canon model in the game, so don't hurt me]. Androids have an 'O' ring LED light on their right (other's left) temple, helps people know that he's an android. It changes colors and all that jazz. Does he have personality? Maybe.
> 
> nnn Bing is an inch shorter than Larry. He's got that sort of longish brown hair he likes, white skin, and really dark brown eyes. He can't really stand still for too long, plus he needs to be actively doing something. the guy has shitty fashion choices and a super clean pistol. Does this guy have a personality? Yeah, he's actually a human. jhgvvb

I'm not used to the weather here in Detroit. I have to buy umbrellas for a sudden storm.

 

Today was no different.

 

I worked a bit later than usual, waiting for buses are a bit of a pain if I had nothing to do while waiting.

 

Deviants were everywhere. They still are. I get paranoid when talking to people a lot. Along with that, some take things apart for whatever things they're going to use them for. Like a rooftop for a bus stop.

 

Goddammit. Even the seats were soaked.

 

So I stuck with standing. Lovely. It was secluded here, at least.

 

Five minutes in, it starts pouring. The patter of rain on the umbrella I just bought only added to my irritation. Another minute. Another. And another. I can never handle standing still for too long. I need to do something, so I had to walk in circles and fidget with the bottom tag on the umbrella. 

 

"Bing!"

 

I almost didn't hear him the first time over all the patter.

 

"BING!"

 

I finally hear him.

 

There's loud thumping on the ground, a figure in the haziness of the rain, running straight to me. 

 

The blur-

 

"Bing! There you are!"

 

His blonde curly hair had been straightened out and dripping with water. Outfit wet, face wet, LED glowing in yellow as he processed that he found me. 

 

"Larry? What in the ever-loving hell are you doing here?"

 

"I thought you stopped breathing, moron," He swiftly leaned in and pulled me into a hug, "I got worried about you, why didn't you notify me that you were going to work late?"

 

"Yeah, sorry, my phone finally decides to die at the last second and I forgot to charge it."

 

"You forgot a lot of things because you decided to stay up late."

 

I cringed, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I won't do it again... Say, you don't happen to have my fidget pen, do you?"

 

Larry in buttoned his suit and went through it, handing me my pen.

 

"Thanks."

 

"Not a problem. Let me hold this."

 

I click my pen with one hand as I hand him the umbrella. He sticks by my side as we waited.

 

"So, what's up?"

 

"What's... Up?"

 

"Yeah. Like, did you do much today?"

 

"Oh... Uhh... Yes, I cleaned up the entire house and fixed up your collection."

 

"That all?"

 

"I cooked."

 

"Okay."

 

"And waited. And you never came. I got worried."

 

Androids don't worry. They don't feel. Deviants do.

 

"Bus is delayed," I sighed, "Must be for the rain."

 

"Actually, it rains in Detroit a lot. According to my calculations."

 

"Right..."

 

Larry looks over at me.

 

"I've been... Meaning to ask you some questions when you got home."

 

I click with both hands, "Oh, well, do you want to ask me now, or?"

 

"It's a bit personal, but there's no one around so I guess it's best to ask now," He traces the line of fabric of his eye patch, "I've been. Wondering. About something. I seen it on the news, it made me wonder. I don't know what to think. And I feel a lot of comfort in your... Aura, if that's what you'd like to call it."

 

"..." I look up at him, his one golden eye staring at my face, "Your job is to shoot deviants. And it's surprising that you're a gunman, it's quite unfitting with your condition but I guess you've proved me wrong. Hahah..."

 

A low growl escapes my throat.

 

"Anyway, going off topic there. I didn't think I'd needed to ask this. Would you shoot me?"

 

"What the hell, of course not-"

 

"I'm serious, Bing. If I attacked you, would you shoot me?"

 

And pause. Of course I'd shoot someone who'd attack me.

 

"Yeah, I'd want to live. But why would you be attacking me?"

 

"Because... You're angry at me, and you've already tried to hurt me once."

 

"But why? You piss me off, yes."

 

Larry grumbles, he's clutching the umbrella tightly, "I don't know how to explain this to you any better."

 

"I wouldn't shoot you for no reason-"

 

"Bing, god damn it."

 

"... We're friends."

 

_processing..._

 

"We... Are...?"

 

"Is that what you're so worried about?" I nabbed the umbrella back, "Friends are family- You're basically like a brother I never had." He looks a bit disappointed when I said that. And yet he smiled.

 

"Would you support me in any choices I make, then?"

 

"I live with a deviant in my home, I allow you to do whatever you wanna do, of course I would! Why would I kill you for trying to figure who you are?"

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOD I HAVEN'T BEEN FEELING TOO WELL AT ALL THIS ENTIRE WEEK
> 
> SO ENJOY THIS wonderful PIECE OF LITERATURE I PULLED OUT OF MY ASS
> 
> also enjoy half of two days worth of lacking motivation,,,
> 
> I swear I'll write something gOod when I'm much happier and motivated but for now enjoy a 1/3 of a fanfic
> 
> (I actually had to rewrite this four times because I didn't know how to start this fic)


End file.
